It feels like an tender pinky finger on your left hand.
It feels like a bruised elbow on your right arm.
It feels like several bruises from your ankle to above your knee.
Oh, and let's not forget...
It feels like a half-dollar sized bruise on your tush.
You may wonder...how do you accomplish feeling like a doofus?
1. Stash one of hubby's Christmas gifts in the walk-in attic.
2. Get up on the coldest morning of the year, walk into said attic to retrieve said present.
3. Notice that it is freakin' freezing in this attic and sort of jog your way across to the secret hiding place.
4. Be sure to lose your balance when you get there...
Because the next step is very important.
5. Step through the beams in the attic crashing your foot through the floor...which is the ceiling of whatever room is below.
6. Catch yourself, somehow injuring all of the body parts mentioned above.
And that's how you feel like a doofus.
Thank goodness that the room below was only the garage.
Because you haven't been punished enough by the holey ceiling and bruises...
7. Get up the next morning and rush to leave the house.
8. Grab your laptop and whatever else can fill your arms.
9. Step on a brick that is unknowingly covered with a thin sheet of ice.
10. Drop everything you're carrying and land on the leg opposite of the one you stuck through the ceiling the day before.
11. Cry. In front of your children.
12. Enjoy the Christmas decor you have added to your leg...black and blue is the new red and green.
I had a couple of clumsy days and I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Although, I've never been hit by a truck, why would I think that?
I didn't think I hit my head...
But maybe I did.