Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What it feels like to be a Doofus

It feels like an tender pinky finger on your left hand.

It feels like a bruised elbow on your right arm.

It feels like several bruises from your ankle to above your knee.

Oh, and let's not forget...

It feels like a half-dollar sized bruise on your tush.

You may wonder...how do you accomplish feeling like a doofus?

1. Stash one of hubby's Christmas gifts in the walk-in attic.

2. Get up on the coldest morning of the year, walk into said attic to retrieve said present.

3. Notice that it is freakin' freezing in this attic and sort of jog your way across to the secret hiding place.

4. Be sure to lose your balance when you get there...

Because the next step is very important.

5. Step through the beams in the attic crashing your foot through the floor...which is the ceiling of whatever room is below.

6. Catch yourself, somehow injuring all of the body parts mentioned above.
And that's how you feel like a doofus.

Thank goodness that the room below was only the garage.

But wait!!!

Because you haven't been punished enough by the holey ceiling and bruises...

7. Get up the next morning and rush to leave the house.

8. Grab your laptop and whatever else can fill your arms.

9. Step on a brick that is unknowingly covered with a thin sheet of ice.

10. Drop everything you're carrying and land on the leg opposite of the one you stuck through the ceiling the day before.

11. Cry. In front of your children.

12. Enjoy the Christmas decor you have added to your leg...black and blue is the new red and green.

I had a couple of clumsy days and I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Although, I've never been hit by a truck, why would I think that?

I didn't think I hit my head...

But maybe I did.



Amy said...

Erik did that at his friends BRAND NEW HOUSE the day before his housewarming! Oh, and I have an almost matching one in my living room. Its not a hole, but a crack. Somehow, I managed to catch my self before going through

Anonymous said...

You poor thing! I TOTALLY know how you feel!

Sara said...

Oh Honey *chuckles*! It's not funny, but WOW! I can't even imagine Donald's face when he saw the hole in the ceiling .. probably thinking "my wife is the most adorable woman EVER"

Endearing I like to call it! :)

utmomof5 said...

I am trying not to laugh but I just keep picturing Clark Griswold from Christmas vacation when he does the same thing in the attic!! Get feeling better soon!

rthling said...

Through my ever sharp powers of prediction and deduction, I predict that you will be moving slowly and carefully for the next week or two.
I have cried in front of my children before, too. I fell out the back door, and down the concrete steps. I have a permanent dent in my shin bone where I thought it was broken, and my knees have never been the same.
Welcome to the club.

Lorrie said...

Rob went through our ceiling a couple of years ago too. I was standing right there beside him, except I was standing on flooring, he was not. After I realized he was okay, I laughed. Yeah well, when you've been married sixteen plus years you have to laugh at those things. We now have a nice square patch in our garage ceiling where Rob fixed the hole but never got around to painting.
I hope you get to feeling better very soon.
And have a Happy New Year.

Lizzie said...

Awww...poor you!!! I feel for you!

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Oh I'm sorry! What a day! I hate days like that when things just keep going wrong!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I wish I was there to share a laugh/cry over a cup of coffee with you!

p.s. guess who is coming your way in the spring with her whole clan?

Brittany said...

OH MY WORD! Girl... you need a bubble! ;)

ToolSmartz said...

Doofus... :-)

Mama Smurf said...

That sounds like a REALLY bad Christmas movie or something...totally laughing at... eh-hem... I mean WITH you.


Smiling Shelly said...

Ouch, girlie! Sounds like we need to lock you up in a padded room somewhere....padded not b/c you're crazy - although I suspect a little of that too ;) - but because maybe you won't be able to hurt yourself there.

I'm glad all you got were bumps and bruises and no broken bones.

Take care, Doofus....er...I mean, Tina! ;)

Anonymous said...

Acccckkkkk! I've been there. I hit the floor 3 times in about 2 weeks all on the same leg. 2 of those times were within 30 minutes of each other. Glad you didn't break anything! Move slowly!

MDearing said...

Bless your heart. You have just reminded all of us of what a good day we have had. See, there you go, blessing others! Take care of yourself!!

Shannon said...

(Shaking head) You clumsy poop! At least nothing's broken. My dad stepped through his attic. Welcome to the Clumsly Club.

Oh, and I so would've cried too in front of the kids. Probably more so because it was a "nothing-is-going-right-for-me-lately" kind of day than out of pain. But that would add to it, I'm sure.

Cheryl said...

I am not laughing at you, I am laughing with you? To make you feel better, my hubby stepped between the beams in our attic and put his foot through the ceiling in our living room.

Mia said...

Oh you poor,sweet,clumsy girl!!! Now are you sure you weren't just acting out a scene from National Lampoon's Christmas??
I am right there with you...I manage to find EVERY small patch of ice,every steep staircase,every hole in the ground and proceed to earn MY Doofus medal!!
Heal quickly!!

Kelli said...

but was the laptop ok?

HOLY COW, thats alot of owwwwies on one person, I understand your status on facebook now! hope you heel fast!

Amy said...

Bless your heart.

(((BIG HUGS!)))

It's official...We are related.;)

JMBMOMMY said...

Oh no, you had a very, very bad day. :(

Doran & Jody said...

NOT funny, NOT funny, NOT funny....I'm trying not to laugh.
I think maybe it is time to wrap you in bubble wrap. What do ya think?