Not me. Not us.
Actually, several of our friends.
This makes me so sad.
I do not know how to help. I always want to 'fix' problems and there are things happening that are a) none of my business and b) I can't do anything about.
I do not have a perfect marriage. Who does? But we do not have many of the issues that so many other couples have.
We do not fight about money. Hubs makes the money (I make some) and I take care of it. (I'll admit that I could do a better job...by using more coupons, not dining out and being a smidge less impulsive...but our bills are always paid on time and we are accomplishing more now than we have ever been able to do...big blessings!) We discuss purchases. We do not hide money from each other in separate accounts. It's not 'his' and 'hers'...it's 'ours'. I am no less valuable because I don't bring home as much as he does.
We do not belittle each other. With the exception of the occasional playful name-calling, because we're both goober doofuses, we do not beat each other up with words. It's so harmful, people. We are usually the first to point out our own flaws and then it just becomes a joke....but we don't put each other down.
We do not have a communication problem. We talk. And we have always been talkers. We check on each other during the day. (which has become super easy since we turned 12 and started texting!) We respect each other's schedules. We talk about our plans for the week just to keep the other in the know. When we fuss, we discuss. It's not always pretty; we know how to get stupid...but it doesn't last long and making up is fun. :)
What we do or try to do:
- Love God
- Go to church/teach together
- Share housework
- Support one another
- Care for each other when ill
- Respect each other
- Parent together
- Show our children loving parents
- Keep each other happy...
I wish I could help my friends. Satan has them in a tight grip. Some of them love money...and all that it can buy...but it cannot buy a happy marriage. Some of them do not know how to communicate without fighting/belittling. They don't love anymore. There is no affection. They don't put each other first.
Again, let me say, my marriage is not perfect either. We get lazy and forget about each other's needs sometimes. One of us may get in a bad mood and it causes dysfunction...but we work things out so that we are on the same page.
That 'page' is called a 'Marriage License.'
That 'page' is called a vow before God.
That makes us a team and we must play nice to stay in the game.
I love my husband and he loves me.